Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Cookie Doctor

Hope everyone is managing their first week back from Pesach well.
I decided not to return to weigh in at Weight Watchers until I lose some weight. I refuse to spend money right now to find out how fat I am. I know how fat I am, I would rather not pay to see it in writing.
As an aside...
At work this week I was talking to a patient and her family and one family member asked if I was making cookies again. I had made cookies for a small party that the patient and her family were invited to earlier in the year. The other family member perks up and goes "oh you're the cookie doctor?"
I am thinking, great, just great. Now I am the cookie doctor and I have to live up to that reputation. I quickly told them I am on a diet so no more cookies for a while and I am not a doctor.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~Author Unknown

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I was passing by the break room at work today and there was a container of macaroons leftover from Pesach (I do not work in a Jewish environment). I am thinking that must be empty because everything in this place gets eaten right away. In a moment of weakness I went to the jar and it was almost completely full ( I guess gentiles do not have a complete appreciation for macaroons). I ate two and they were good. I must say that in Memphis the macaroons we had were so stale that i think they were leftover from at least two years ago. But here in NY they are soft and chocolatey and coconutty. Yum. Anyway it was worth it and I was proud because I only ate two and did not proceed to eat the whole can.
I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. ~Jennifer Greene Duncan

Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm back and fatter than ever

Hi guys! I have missed you and your comments!
I cannot believe the toll that the past few months has taken on me and how much weight I gained in that time. Wow. It's amazing that what takes so short to put on can take take a lifetime to get rid of.
But enough dwelling on the past and it's mistakes and on to dieting. I decided while I sit here waiting for the plumber to come that it was time to return to the blog and return to the diet. I thought if only they could stick that snake thing down me and suck out all the stuff clogging me up I would be thin and it's only $50. But then again, it's 10pm and they told me to expect him around 5:30pm. So it may be cheap but so far it ain't reliable.
That is a wonderful mashal for dieting. We can try the quick fixes and the easy way out but it often leads to short term goals and can make it difficult to reach our long term goals. So it's slow and steady again for me (which works about as well as quick and easy because it seems I like I gain it back either way).
I have made a commitment to try again and that is the best I can do. I am far from good at this but get better each time and keep coming back to it so I don't get completely out of control.
So wish me luck and I hope you will stand by me and cheer me on and possibly WIRE MY MOUTH SHUT.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, "You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers." ~Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Time out from Exercise :(

I weighed in again today and I am still way above where I want to be. I kind of wish I could attribute it to something other than myself but I am the one responsible here.
So I am back to counting points and logging everything I eat (well, almost everything).
The real bummer is that I am having a pain in my left hip that I know is from exercising too much last week. Everyone always says watch out for your knees but it seems that my hip is giving me the trouble. I worked out 5 times last week, ran a total of 11 miles and did a very intense step class with a riser on my step. That does not include the elliptical I also did here and there. So I think I just pushed myself too hard and now I am forcing myself to stay home and not exercise. Its not even for the weight loss as much as for the satisfaction I have from doing it, that I am missing it so much. My body and soul just feel better when I am able to be active. I sleep better and in turn I feel a lot better.
Honestly, I never thought these words would be my own. Until about 6 years ago I never did any exercise. I went to a Jewish Day School where their idea of exercise is letting us walk 4 minutes to school. Actually at one point Cher was my gym teacher, because we were sort of forced to do a workout video once a week and my friend had this Cher step class and we would "do" it. I would more like watch Cher do it and call it exercising my eyes.
I have come along way since then. Exercise has become a routine part of my life to the point where it is actually enjoyable while doing it and the myriad of benefits that come along with it are perks too.
So I am now a big advocate of exercise and I think that even though I may have a couple extra pounds, I would have a lot more if I did not exercise and they would be in a lot worse places. Running especially has really helped me slim down and lose inches.
So I pray that my hip gets better in time for my step class on Thursday and I will cut down to running twice a week and elliptical in between. If it still hurts, I will see a doctor (or ignore it till it becomes fungating).

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
~Ellen DeGeneres

Sunday, February 22, 2009

This Too Shall Pass...Now Would Be Good

I have not been so into this blog lately, which I noticed is directly related to the fact that I have not been so into dieting lately.
It makes sense, I guess, but then I realized if I would be honest and just blog how I feel then maybe I will stop eating to overcome the desperation.
Nothing in particular has set me off. Honestly, no bad dates, no deaths in the family (yup, those two are pretty closely related on the pain scale), I like my job, I have great and supportive friends. I think its just been too much winter already and no vacation days, no warm and sunny, lets get outside and live life days. It's a lot more let's stay indoors on the couch watching bad movies and eating days.
I feel as though February is just like that for a lot of people, kind of blah. I mean it's mid winter, no holidays and no fun days so it's easier to get stuck in a rut. I liken it to a fog. It's as if a fog has been put over my eyes, not a thick one, but one that just clouds my vision a drop and makes it feel as if I am muddling through. It's not only in dieting. i feel like I am struggling in many aspects of my life, like my day to day religion is a struggle and not biting my nails is a struggle and then I find it is easier to just give in to it rather than fight it.
That's it. That is the bottom line. the past few weeks I have just not had the strength to fight the fight and it is easier to give in, so I have.
I am not proud of this, but I am being honest. I am learning that for me, life is cyclic, sometimes its easier to be in control and sometimes it's harder, but even when it is hard I know it won't last forever and that gives me the strength to hold on. This fog will lift and I will see the sun bright and shining.
Until then I will use the last bit of strength I have to hold on to here and now and not let myself fall further than this.
I really will get back on track, it will be one day soon.

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. ~Horace

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Food for Thought

Blogging about dieting gets boring.
How about we switch topics for today and talk about the shidduch crisis?
Then I can call the blog "Dating Makes My Clothes Shrink"
Or we can talk about the financial crisis in the United States and world wide.
Then I can call the blog "Having No Money Makes My Clothes Shrink"
Another possibility for discussion includes do you think Barack Obama is doing and /or will continue to do a good job as president?
Then I can call the blog "Barack Obama Makes My Clothes Shrink"-not so much.
OK How about the effects of global warming, is there really a crisis? And Should we, could we be doing more to prevent the breakdown of the environment?
Then I would call the blog "Does Lowering My Carbon Footprint Also Make My Clothes Shrink?"
Or the way we worship actors and actresses or ballplayers as our modern heroes. Are these people we want our children to look up to?
Then I will call the blog "If only Brad Pitt were Jewish, certainly my clothes would NOT be shrinking"
How about the topic of Free Will. Is there free will? If there is then how can God know all we do and even before we do it and we still have free will?
Then I will call the blog "Philosophy... Just Makes Me Anxious"
And lastly, as a possible blog in case you are bored and want to start one could be a laundry blog and I would call it "Putting Wool in the Dryer Makes My Clothes Shrink"
Have a good day!

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. ~Jennifer Greene Duncan

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

But I did it anyway

I was not going to post tonight, but I am.
I was not going to go to the gym tonight, but I did.
I was not going to go weigh in tonight, but I did.
I was feeling gross and I had to work a little late tonight so I was going to just come home and veg out and get some much needed sleep. Instead I pushed myself and I went to weigh in which was a huge but expected disappointment. I will not disclose just how much I gained, but suffice it to say that it took me weeks to get that much off and I gained it all back in 2 short weeks. It's amazing how badly we want to hold onto our fat.
(I once bought a magnet for someone that reads as follows: The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.)
Anyway I decided after that weigh in that I have no choice but to go to the gym and I ran 3 miles in 32 minutes and I am glad I did.
And then I wasn't going to post because I really, really have nothing to say except I ate too much and I shouldn't have and now I am annoyed. Y'all are going to be all nice and say things like "just keep trying, it's only a small setback" and the like. What you may really be thinking is, "if she eats like a pig, she deserves to look like one" or "I can only help those who help themselves". I know that's what I would be thinking about me. (I still would rather hear the earlier in your comments, rather than the latter or no more shout outs for you)
Here is how I am feeling: tired and weak and frustrated. I resolve to take those negative energies and thoughts and get rid of them. I have had my fun the past two weeks, basically eating whatever I want. Now is the time to get serious again, count points, have willpower, overcome the temptations!!
Please, God, give me strength.

Monday, February 16, 2009

I protest

I am learning a lot about myself, more and more each day. Most recently I have learned that I feel better about myself when I am in control of my eating habits but I still like to eat more than I care. Isn't that the craziest thing?
It's the whole idea of the intellect being unable to overpower the emotion. It's like a smoker that knows that every cigarette is going to bring him closer to death but still he cannot stop smoking. Every alcoholic has the same dilemma as does every morbidly obese person.
I am hoping I don't make it to morbidly obese and that I can nip this in the bud before I get there.
Speaking of obese I would like to discuss something which I think (even as a medical professional) is a totally unfair and unjust measurement of weight.
That is the BMI calculator.
For those of you that are unaware of this system please click here for more info.
I think this chart system is way unfair. It makes no distinction between men and women and it makes us all seem obese. I just calculated mine at 24.9, which by the skin of my teeth is a normal weight. 25 is considered overweight. Actually, I haven't weighed myself in two weeks and I am certain after tomorrow I will be closer to obese :(. But lets say you are 5'7". 135 lbs is considered to be an average healthy weight in mid range of normal. Now I must admit I have never weighed in at 135. I skipped right over those numbers from grade school into high school. Seriously, scales in my house don't go that low.
But I think the BMI is a product of society and a bunch of skinny doctors who think that the average size 12 woman is obese. Give me a break. Not everyone is going to weigh 125 lbs and fit into a size 4. That is just not the reality.
I say we ditch the BMI. All in favor, say I!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I seriously cannot stop eating! I love to eat! I love chocolate! Honestly, I don't even care if I don't have a Valentine, I am going to eat all the chocolates anyway! Try and stop me...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Excuses, Excuses

I have many excuses tonight for why I didn't go to weigh in at Weight Watchers, but most of you can probably guess them all. I begin with the least incriminating. I have a bad cold. Stuffy head, stuffy nose and I went to work today. I fell asleep at my desk waiting for a patient. It is that bad. As I left work I decided I was just too tired and cranky to go to find out that I gained and feel more defeated than I already am.
So instead I ate too much for dinner. Then I justified that by sating that I have a bad cold, stuffy head, stuffy nose and penne a la vodka was pretty much the only thing I felt would satisfy me. So I ate it and now I feel sick. Are you happy now???
By the way, pasta is not a food I eat very much at all. I like it but its not one of those foods I have to have. I rarely make it and if I do its in a vegetable lasagna after a fast day. When I go out to eat I rarely order it because I like other things better. But sometimes I just have to eat it and then I am good for like another 6 months.
I figured that once this week was shot what's one more day?
But now I am done. I feel as though I have fulfilled my cheating quota for the month. I have tasted and eaten pretty much everything I have wanted in the last 5 days and I am going to jump back in the saddle again. It's fleishigs for breakfast lunch and dinner, no junk and gym as much as possible.
We will see how long this lasts. I am hoping for a good week.
PS Another reason I didn't want to go weigh in was because I fear that my highest weight for 2009 might be right now. uh oh!

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields

Monday, February 9, 2009

Have Mercy

I think I have been reluctant to post another blog because I ate a lot this weekend and very little of it was justified. I am tired of dieting. I really am. I have to say it sometimes feels good to just eat with reckless abandon until your stomach hurts and you feel guilty. Then, of course, you feel guilty but you are satisfied and you have gotten it out of your system. ( I hear the comments,'s never good, stay focused...blah, blah, blah.)
I am coming to the realization (a realization I have like once a day), that this is a life long process. I am going to be in it for the long haul. In the scheme of things what's one wedding of great food and even better dessert? Or really more honestly, what's one weekend of good food and good desserts?
It's the same thing over and over (aren't yall getting tired of me and my realizations-that are the same every time?). It's okay for me to have a "bad" weekend if I am good most of the time. I did wake up this morning and think "the 2 lbs I likely gained this weekend are going to take me two weeks to get off". Then I was annoyed, but I was still happy I ate that chocolate explosion dessert.
I did get a cold this weekend because I have been run down and busy and Hashem knew I needed a day off of work and the only way I would take it and actually rest was if I felt badly. So He did me this small tova and I spent the day in bed and now I am rested and more relaxed. Although I do still feel much like my head is under water.
The other silver lining to this cloud of a cold is that I sort of lost my appetite today. Not much tempted me and a lot of things feel like they are going to burn my throat on the way down, so I passed.
So even though one day of eating very little doesn't usually help the weekend of dinner with parents in the city, Shabbos with yummy Biscotti and my aunt's chocolate chip cookies that are heavenly, an engagement party Sat night with tons of yummy, yummy treats, Sunday morning brunch with my parents and a very fancy wedding, I am hoping the scale will have rachmanus on me.
And I am hoping yall will too.

PS: Shout out to Marg (who I am certain only did it cuz she was expecting this) for bringing me chicken soup as the cure all for my cold and the LAST piece of her milk chocolate Godiva because she knew I needed it more than the soup. Thanks, M. I recognize that BB (before blog) you would have brought over the whole box of leftover dark ones.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Soy siempre a régimen

So tonight is pretty much the same as last night. I am tired and my creative juices are not flowing at this time.
I did blow it tonight at a really nice restaurant and I felt alarmingly okay with it. Here is the thing: I rarely go out to eat, and even rarer do I go to a nice restaurant. My parents are here and so we went to Tevere in the city whose food I happen to really like. I got a mixed plate with a piece of chicken, veal and lamb and shared them with my parents, but I did eat a fair amount. The thing is that then I had dessert. My thought process was not that I already blew it so why not go for the gold, but more honestly, it was I never eat at such nice places and I may as well enjoy myself this once. It's not that I don't often cheat here and there and have some junk food, or overeat. Here I felt like its like a once a year thing. When I go out to enjoy a nice meal, I want to enjoy it to the fullest extent. It's then that I say "you only live once".
That's my feeling and I know some of you may disagree but I think its like deli roll- a once a year food.
I hope all of you have a great Shabbos and I look forward to updating all of you after the wedding. I am certain I won't be able to skip the shmorg and then when food is in front of me I have a hard time saying no. So I think I will be careful at the shmorg and have a drink in hand at all times, and then eat in moderation at the dinner. Wish me luck.
I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. ~Erma Bombeck

Keep 'em coming

I have very little to contribute tonight. I am so so so tired and being tired makes it harder for me to diet, so I am off to bed.
But I am warning that this weekend is going to be a doozy. I have yet another (#8 in the last 13 months, bli ayin hara, kayn yirbu))first cousin's wedding (from the fancy side of the family)on Sun night and my parents are coming in town (yay)! So we are already planning on dinner out tomorrow night and then Shabbos. I don't think Shabbos will be so bad because people I will be with will all be dieting. Then the big wedding, for which I will have to just be wise about. I have a goal of not gaining this week, and I will be ok if I do not lose. Its also going to be harder for me to get to the gym because of all the festivities.
So I will practice forgiving myself this week and letting go of having to be at the gym, in order to enjoy my family and a beautiful simcha.
Wish me luck!
Good night, I am falling asleep typing and I have to get up early tomorrow because I am starting a Spanish class once a week. Maybe at the end I will be able to blog in Spanish!

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Ten pounds for Pesach

I am sensing that this blog is all about who can get more shout outs and I am wondering exactly who you think is reading it. I mean I would love if we went public and all and yall will certainly be the first followers, but for now it seems its just us reading and its not a competition. Do you guys only talk to me so you can see if you make it on the blog?
I guess that works, cuz I lost 0.8 lbs today and I am at the lowest point since the blog began. For a total weight loss of (drumroll, please) 8.4 lbs since December 1. Not bad. Not bad at all. It is always slower fro me after the first month and I basically want to lose ten more pounds and we all know that the last 10 lbs are the hardest to lose. So as long as you all keep reading and I keep writing and we all keep sharing great food and diet ideas, we can make it all the way till Pesach!!!
That's the goal, 10 lbs before Pesach. Yikes, I can't even say that word (pesach) it makes me nervous and I feel like I have to start cleaning or stressing or something.
So again, if until the holiday, which shall remain nameless, we can keep Z and Marg fighting over who deserves the shout outs then I will keep dieting and blogging.
And by all means if you want a shout out, just tell me and I will be happy to oblige- as long as you have done something to make it easier for me to diet.
Happy and Healthy Day to all.
PS and yes Marg that conversation we had about the puffed wheat was the inspiration for yesterday's blog, so shout out to you!

If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush. ~Dawn French

Monday, February 2, 2009

Z, sorry this blog is not for you

I would like to discuss a diet phenomenon I find fascinating.
Here is the scenario. I am dieting weekly and eating a lot of the same old same old boring foods. So lots of turkey and asparagus and even though I like them both a lot, I get bored.
I also basically eat the same cereal every single day for breakfast with no milk, Crunchy Corn Bran. I like it. It's low in points. It's a little filling and a little sweet, but not sweet like fruity pebbles sweet (yum).
last week I decide that 5 years of the same cereal every day gets boring and I need a change. Usually when this happens I switch to oatmeal or cream of wheat for a week and inevitably return to CCB.
This time I decide to try Puffed Wheat. Now Zehava will often extol the virtues of Puffed Wheat and so I was willing to try it.
People, all I can say is, do not try it, it is so not worth it. Mind you, it is so low in points that you could eat the whole box in one day and still not fulfill half your points for the day. But who in their right mind wants to eat an entire box of light and fluffy cardboard??? The stuff is so bland and so dry that I loaded it with sweet and low and cinnamon and had to use milk and still it was like eating soggy cardboard with cinnamon.
Then I would just crave food all morning. I mean who wouldn't if all they ate for breakfast was cardboard? I would have eaten the cereal box for less calories.
I did finish the whole box throughout the week last week because this is a recession and who can afford to throw away cardbo...I mean food.
For me tasteless and bland, no matter how low in calories gives me very little eating satisfaction and I think I even crave food with rich taste afterward.
Needless to say, tomorrow is back to the Crunchy Corn bran for me.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Z, this blog's for you!

Huge Shout out to Zehava for being my most loyal blogging friend and for passing it on to her friends. (Everyone settle down and let me humor Zehava, before yall start to write in that you think you are my most loyal fan.)
I couldn't do this without you, because frankly there would be no point in blogging if no one is reading and certainly if no one is commenting. So thanks, Z for keeping me going and for calling me thin, I am flattered.
Tonight is the Super Bowl and while I have no idea who is playing, nor do I care, I think that it can be connected to dieting somehow. I am certain everything in life can be connected to dieting.
The Superbowl is all about winning, reaching the goal. Even though its men running after a ball because their life depends on it, they are still running towards a goal. Now each team in the league will begin the season hoping to make it all the way to the Super Bowl. Some will not make it anywhere near and some will come close (think Tennessee). But all of them would love to be there and they will work their hardest to get there. When they fail, they get up and try again next year.
Quite honestly I think it's ridiculous. I (if you couldn't guess) think football and most commercial sports are overrrated. I mean, seriously, grown men running after each other and physically knocking each other down to get a pigskin. Its weird, I am sorry.
Now if the goal we are trying to reach is more noble, than to me it IS certainly worth running after with all of your strength and with the expectation that you will make it to the end. In the instance that you don't make it to the end this year, don't lose sight of the fact that you can get up and try again next year.
And with a couple of good endorsements, you can make it BIG.
We are all already winners because we have chosen to live a healthier lifestyle, but in terms of goals, may this be the year we make it all the way to the "Super Bowl"!

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. ~Author Unknown

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Shout Out

This blog is dedicated to all of
the people in my life who are supportive and caring and joining in on the journey to a healthier and balanced self.
Many of them deserve shout outs because...well...because...they seem to have changed their own eating habits in order to get shout outs on the blog. If you are that dedicated to this blog then here goes:
Marg: SHOUT OUT!!! loud and clear for bringing peppers and popcorn to our Broadway show last night and helping me to avoid the M&Ms at the concession stand. I guess the economy deserves a shout out too, because frankly I can't afford concessions in the city during these tough economic times.
Sara: SHOUT OUT!!! loud and clear for swapping soup with me this week, and for offering to make grilled chicken for the Shabbos meal. I am certain you heard that down the block.
Esther P: SHOUT OUT!!! loud and clear for, well I can't really remember exactly what for...hmmm... for being my friend. (she won't mind, she is too busy to read the blog, but in case you do, shout out for being you)
This could go on forever but I will stop here...
I am off to bed because I have had a long and busy week and I know I make better choices when I am not so tired.
Have a great Shabbos and remember if you do something because you want a shout out, I respect and appreciate that. Mitoch Shelo Lshma Ba Lshma.
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again"
- George Miller

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Google It.

The good news: I lost 1.6lbs at my last weigh in.
And now you are waiting for the bad news and the better news is that there is no bad news. I just started the blog that way and got to thinking that everyone will be expecting bad news. There is none, my car is currently cleaner because the snow has wiped away all of the stuff. Thanks, G-d.
I have been super busy the past few days and I have very little time to write right now because I am on my way out the door. I just couldn't pass up the oppotunity to update yall on the weight loss. Go me. I am still struggling with the balance but obviously when you lose instead of gain it is easier to stay focused.
I learned last night (thanks, Ilana) that if I ever move out of the US it will be to Australia. Why, you might ask?
In Australia I would only weigh about 11 stones.
Have a great one guys.

Monday, January 26, 2009

A Matter of Perspective

Sorry I have been remiss in blogging for a few days. I needed a break from the diet obsession. I find that when I have a few weeks of gaining I am not as eager to continue. Also its been like 6 weeks and I am just not that strong.
I feel like what's it all for? To wear one size smaller? To feel a bit thinner? Is it going to change who I am as a person? Am I losing sight of what is most important in my life?
On the other side, when I get to thinking like that I find that it is a slippery slope. That if I am realistic and decide that i don't want to be in such good control, I let it slide right by and I am 10 lbs heavier in two weeks.
I know its about balance and that is why I am not giving up. I am thinking about plataeuing-like just staying here, in control, but not necessarily "dieting" and forgiving myself one week of not losing. I know I just gained and I want to get that off but I also want to avoid becoming obsessed with the diet.
I had a totally non diet related experience that I think can become related to dieting and I really want to share it because it was just so classic.
Yesterday I had my car washed. "Stacy" is my Mini and she was filthy from all the snow and salt and sand and I really could not see out the windows because she was so dirty. So I finally took her in for her wash and she looks amazing! So clean inside and out and fresh and sparkly. I am ok with the fact that it is going to snow again but at least it won't be more grime on grime.
I leave work and go to my car tonight and as I am walking I am thinking, that is weird. There are no leaves on the trees to have fallen on my car. I get closer and I realize that birds must have seen how shiny my car was and decided to use it as their toilet for today. Like every single bird in NYC needed to go on MY car, today, the day after I spent $20 on getting her clean. I am not even exaggerating. My car is covered. Roof, hood windows, windshield, rear window. So, so gross.
I got to thinking...
It's a mashal for life. Just when you think you have it made, the birds come pooping down...
Sorry that is awful..
But here is the positive spin. I was actually laughing that it happened because there was just so much irony. And then I realized that it was okay. There was no ticket and no dent and car crash. Just a bit of bird doo that will come off with another $20. So I was grateful and happy.
So here is where it ties in to the diet. There are always two ways to look at things. Setbacks, weight gain, lack of motivation can all be bird poop on your newly washed car, or they can be a way to reassess, to take stock to put it in perspective. To say I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been. I take care of myself, I am blessed with good health and 10 lbs is not the end of my life. And I still chose to watch it. It's not like I will never get my car washed again, next time I just won't park under a tree the next day.

I thank Hashem for the wonderful, working, healthy body He has given me and continues to give me every day and I pray that He gives me the strength to keep it healthy in order to serve Him to the best of my ability.
PS I also pray that the birds fly south very soon :)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Be nice, please

I was really not going to blog tonight because I am tired and I did something really dumb that I do not want to confess. But, perhaps if I get it off my chest and confess it aloud it will go away.
I came home from a great gym workout and was in a mood. I had this feeling of just wanting to get into the bed and stay there for a few days with a good book and a few movies. But, alas I cannot call out sick tomorrow for a multitude of reasons.
So, I decided it would be better to be productive. I then decided that I want to make cookies for the morning meeting we have at 8am. It's an informal meeting and it would be nice to treat the group to some fresh baked cookies and I was in the mood to bake.
This happens, as She-nerd can attest to, and usually the cookies never made it out of the oven, let alone the house.
Anyway, much to my own dismay I made these delicious cookies called dishpan cookies with oatmeal and corn flakes and nuts. They are chewy and yummy! I admit that I licked more batter than I should have and I ate a few of the broken cookies.
It seems to be a theme here but I will say it again... it could have been worse. Instead of eating more and more I now have them packed away to take to work in their nice container for tomorrow and I will not, not, not, eat anymore.
I did have some points left over so it wasn't all bad, and I am just not Z that I have that much self control right now.
I notice that when I am tired my resolve weakens and I find it much harder to stay on track. I am certain we all have triggers such as that.
Therefore, I am going to bed now and I am actually glad I won't be able to read this till tomorrow afternoon when all of you have told me to stay strong and all that.
I am trying, I really am.
I just love sweets and cookies and cakes and CHOCOLATE, of course.
Be nice to me, I am fragile...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Do you think you could eat Burger King every day for lunch?

As many of my loyal followers were informed, I am no longer able to check the blog at work anymore. The company I work for has tightened their internet restrictions and now I can no longer get into blogs at work. Which makes sense intellectually but is really, really annoying. It's not like I don't do my work. I do it and I do it well. So why can't I check my blog if I am getting all my work done. I guess they want me to look for more work to do.
It will be fine as long as all of you continue to follow and are patient for my responses.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:
I think that in yesterday's comments people were discussing the idea of knowing what is right to eat and what is wrong. What strikes me is that for me it's not about knowing it, it's about executing. I know that asparagus is better for me than a chocolate bar, but I often would still rather eat the chocolate. For me it is so much more about self control than eating the wrong foods.
But what really gets me is when people really are uneducated about their food choices. Sometimes I will see people eating Burger King or other fast food and all I can think is that that is an entire day's worth of calories in your one meal. If I ate non kosher I am certain I would eat it on occasion, but what I do not understand is how people can order this three times a week for lunch. I just cannot fathom this at all. But I do know that it has a lot to do with what people can afford and unfortunately the unhealthy food is the cheapest and that is what people can afford so that's what they eat.
I am thankful to Hashem that I have been given the knowledge to live a healthier lifestyle and the resources to be able to afford this lifestyle. Now if only He would take away my love for chocolate...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I should have had the peanut butter bar

I am utterly frustrated and disappointed but I will blog anyway because yall deserve to know.
I went to weigh in tonight and I gained 1.6lbs (gasp, shriek). I am certain that there was a mistake but I weighed myself on two scales at work and they both said similar numbers to these.
I feel the need to justify. I was very good this week. Short of starving myself I was great. When I went to weigh in I was very bloated (vhamaivin yavin) and my stomach was killing me from the lunch I ate. I made wraps with ground turkey and grilled veggies and these new spinach tortillas that have so much fiber I think my stomach was on fiber overload. So I think that has a lot to do with the gain. Oh and of course my sweater was very heavy.
What a bummer! I kind of had this feeling that I was trying to be so open and set practical goals, and then man plans and G-d laughs! Yes, I am blaming my weight gain on G-d, at this point I feel it is justified.
But I will persevere and continue on this journey because I wore a skirt today that I have not worn since last winter and it's not perfect but it is definitely more wearable than last year. And I wore something else recently that when I first got it I could only wear with a girdle and I have now worn it sans girdle. So it is worth it to plug along and keep trying. I know it is, it is often setbacks such as these that get me off track but I am determined not to let that happen to me this time.

Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

PS: All I could think when I saw the weight was, for 1.6 lbs I could have had at least one peanut butter bar!!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Weekend Update:
I think I was pretty amazing this weekend considering the possibilities. It was such a beautiful weekend and full of elaborate meals with tons of food. I overcame. I had one piece of challah at each meal (half at Shalosh seuodos). I only ate the dessert put in front of me. I did not snack on a single cookie, cake, bar or candy. I ate salads on Motzaei Shabbos and I ran 4 miles this am at the hotel gym (as an aside the gym had the coolest treadmills ever, check this out).
I am proud to say that my friends all watched out for me and were also very good about what they ate and that certainly helped. But truly the thing that helped the most was knowing that had told you all that I wanted to lose a pound and I just did not want to come to the blog on Tues night and have to be ashamed. I still hope I am not but I really think that regardless of that I came through this weekend with flying colors.
Now I would just like to comment on a comment made at the end of last week's post.
M said something very interesting that I think is important for discussion:
Someone once said to me that while it might seem like an attitude of confidence to say, I eat what I want, who cares, I just live my life, it's really a reflection of poor self image - and it's a stronger person who says I care about myself so of course I eat right - like it becomes a thing to value.
I think this is so true and so brilliant. I also think that while this is not a blog about Judaism, there is a very similar idea in Judaism. It's the whole concept of being free to serve ourselves versus being free to serve Gd and which is considered true freedom?
When we have the option to eat whatever we want whenever we want we are slaves to our selves, we are actually slaves to our stomachs. But when we exhibit self control we are free, we say, I am not a slave to my rumbling gut, but rather I am free to eat as I see is the healthiest and best for me. It does not mean I will never eat unhealthy but I possibly will not become so out of control that I am a slave to my desires. I am not a slave to needing just another small satisfaction on my taste buds. I can treat myself better than that.
So here is to freedom from the chocolate slave!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Healthy (Wealthy) and Wise

Its important to have a diet that is mainly comprised of whole grains, lean proteins and fruits and veggies, even if you aren't overweight. Thin people drop dead too, unfortunately. I think this is something that people realize as they get older, when you are younger and you eat crap you feel fine, but eventually you'll just feel like crap. And who wants to feel like crap, even if the food tasted good?
This is a direct quote from Z's comments on the blog from yesterday. If you haven't read them please do because they are quire intriguing (or they will make you hungry).
I was going to post a further comment on this, but I have decided to post it as my blog for today because I think its a very intersting issue for discussion. Feel free to discuss it A LOT because there will be no post again till Sun night when I can report how I fared (and maybe how SaraK did as well).
My feelings on this subject are in general to agree with Z (except I try to refrain from using the word crap). EVERYONE should eat a healthier diet regardless of your weight. It is certainly wise to get used to more veggies and less sugar. A lot of people, though, are brought up on sugary foods and therefore acquire a sweet tooth. Or people are never served vegetables as a child so they stay away from green things. We have so many wonderful and healthy options that are not processed and will give us all the vitamins and minerals we need if we eat them regularly.
Now I am not saying that I am going to stop eating all white flour or white sugar. That is way too overboard for me personally. But, I get it and I respect people that do it. I think it was G-d's intention when He created the world. I also think that the opposite extreme is unwise and much less healthy nor do I respect that. I think that fast food and the corn industry (for you She-nerd) are the slow death of this country.
So sometimes lets remember that its not all about "weight". It really should be about focusing on eating healthy and in moderation so it becomes a way of life and you are at a healthy weight.
Have a great Shabbos everyone. Thanks for all of your comments this week and I look forward to sharing with you just how much chocolate cake I ate in order to get to that healthy weight :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Snarky but Skinny

Today's blog is dedicated to dear friends of mine who have changed their own way of eating in order to accommodate mine. They know who they are but in case you don't I am giving a huge shout out to M and E for forgoing their fattening pasta with cream sauce (which they can both afford, but which Z thinks should not be allowed on the planet) in order to eat tilapia and asparagus with me. It means a lot to me to have friends that know when to share their milk chocolate Godiva with me and when to hold me back. So thanks guys and I am so grateful to you both.

I need to get psyched for eating healthy over this weekend because we will be having a lot of festivities, a Shabbos kallah followed by a wedding which means a lot of eating and certainly a lot of fun.
I need a plan, though.
I have decided to make my weight loss goal known to you all for this week so when Tuesday comes I will be held to it. My goal for this week is to lose 1 lb. That will take off the half I gained and lower my number so I am down nine pounds. It will leave me with nine lbs left to reach my goal. It is not an unrealisitic goal and if I keep my eyes on the goal then I will be able to do it.
So if you are with me this weekend, gently remind me that I want this, and when I get snarky back, just IGNORE me and repeat yourself.
Thanks, it may not seem at the time like I am grateful but I am telling you I am.
And I apologize in advance for biting your head off!
SK (snarky but skinny?)

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
~Ralph Marston

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

You Can Run but You Can't Hide

Since I know you are all anxiously awaiting my weigh in results, I will hang my head in shame and tell you about today.
I gained 0.6 pounds
All Z's fault :)
Just Joking Z, you are the most positive influence in my life!
Everyone tried really hard to stop me from overeating so I have only myself to blame.

Anyway after WW today I was on my way to the gym and had to stop at Rite Aid for some things. I am feeling badly about myself and I am thinking about eating chocolate. I also have this thing (which is BTW, my mother's fault, for sure)that after I eat tuna I need something chocolatey. Don't ask, I have no idea why, but my mother once told me that she always wants chocolate after tuna and it has been hard wired into my brain.
Anyway I peruse the aisles for an alternative to the disaster waiting to happen and I find sugar free jelly bellies. OK I pick them up, go look for a few more items, get to the counter and see all those yummy chocolate candies, Reese's, Hershey's are all yelling my name from their little shelf.
I try to resist and I fail!
Not miserably, I buy a York Peppermint Pattie which did the trick and wasn't the worst possible choice (that would have been a Nutrageous bar).
It doesn't end here. I check out and I forgot that I picked up the jelly bellies and before I can say I don't want those (because I am busy thinking, do I want them, do I want both, do I need them), conveniently she scans them.
I leave the store in a rush before I begin to hear voices from the peanuts in the corner.
I get to the car and decide to start with the Jelly Bellies hoping I won't make it to the York. I eat like 5 and am dissatisfied by their texture (they are very..gooey, I guess is the right word). I unlock my glove compartment, stuff them in and lock it back up.
I promptly eat the York...
And promptly run 3 miles...

PS A very, very Happy Birthday to SaraK who has joined me in the journey against flab! Thanks for your support! I couldn't do it without you!

Monday, January 12, 2009

In time for Spring

As I sit here waiting to leave work (I am waiting on someone to finish their treatment before I can leave), I am thinking about dinner, of course.
It is Monday and I did not prepare as well as I usually do for the coming week. I did make a salad, but it is small and will only work for lunch tomorrow. So what's for dinner? I need something light because I ate a lot for lunch and something fast because I don't expect to be home before 8 and by then I will be hungry.
I am thinking Dr. Praeger's pizza bagels, oh or maybe I will make my own with the 100calorie sandwich thins I have. Yum!
I was also thinking that I would make a chicken soup in the crockpot for the rest of the week, because of this great link from SaraK about low calorie crockpot cooking.(wow, SaraK I think I got it!)
There is no chicken soup there but Z brought it up as a diet food, filling and perfect for this frigid week here on the East Coast.
Speaking of frigid...Do you think cold weather is more conducive to weight loss? I feel like it is. Its as if the air is so cold we are using lots of calories just to keep our vital organs warm. Now I know SaraK will not like this, but think of it as one advantage to winter weather-that and you can hide behind big sweaters!
I found this from some website that proves my point:
Did you actually know that wintertime is the best time to lose weight? Why?

In winter your body has to use much more energy/calories (used synonymously here) in cold weather than it does in warm weather to keep you warm, therefore, a lot more calories are used than in the warmer months. If you start a weight loss program in the colder months, you don’t have to focus as much on exercise to help shed those pounds because the weather is naturally doing it for you. (I am not sure I agree with so completely- I don't think its cold enough here to forgo exercise, maybe on the North Pole ~SK)

Look at hibernating animals do, they use their stored fat during the winter months to take them into the spring.

If only we could store our summer fat and hibernate all winter! We would be skinny just in time for spring!
Stay Warm and if you make a good soup this week, I want to hear about it.
Stay tuned for Tuesday's weigh in...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

TV+sat night+FOOD

Shabbos was very nice here with the heaviest of the bloggers (aside from She-nerd) all together for Shabbos. You'd think we ate only carrots. Close, but not quite.
I thought it all went really well. Especially since the eruv went down in time for lunch and dessert and taco salad could not be had at lunch. Thankfully the eruv went back up and Melava Malka was a delicious taco salad made with yummy turkey.
It kinda sorta went downhill after that. Now, my theory is that it could have been much worse but it still wasn't too good.
Its just that I think my brain is programmed that when the TV goes on my mouth begins to water. Thankfully I do not have that tumah box in my possession because it is poison both spiritually and for the diet. Since this is a diet blog we will stick to the reasons for that.
Its like I get to the house down the block and although I became fleishig from the turkey there was lots of yummy leftover goodies from Shabbos. I sit, enjoy the salad, cabbage salad and feel the need as these high school kids play football and their parents go to jail, I must eat. There was no suspense in the show and although it quite a gripping show, its not all that exciting. Why must I feel the need to eat through the entire thing? Even watching that bachelor dude make a life altering decision about who his next wife will be and is she beautiful enough (for those of you that saw it with me, you know what I refer to).
It all gives me the feeling that I must eat, eat, eat. Especially on Saturday night. Its as if I am hard wired... Sat night, moronic TV about very skinny single women all fighting for the same man and of course, food.
I think I should start biting my nails, much less calories...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

...If I don't count my lunch

I was talking to my friend recently and I made a comment about my diet that was very telling. I said, "I can have that (insert any food)now. I have enough points if I just don't count the candy." When we realized what I'd said we burst out laughing. And a big joke has ensued such as " Oh yeah I can definitely eat that chocolate bar, if I don't count my lunch".
When I said it it was because I had a few hard candies that day and I knew they were going to have to be reckoned with but I didn't really want to count them because they were so meaningless. In WeightWatchers they have this thing about if you eat it you write it. And then they warn you that they mean the BLTs too (bites, licks and tastes). It is so true that they are so many things we discount because we only tasted it or it was just a hard candy. But I see that when you diet you are held accountable for everything that goes in your mouth (which is a mashal for life, but now is not the right time, and it seems my Mom is best at the Divrei Torah portion of this blog).
Sometimes I want to eat without thinking about what it counts for and how much more I can eat because of it, but I do not think that is my destiny right now. Maybe one day, when I am so in control that I don't have to say diet anymore - (or when models become a size 12 and that becomes the style)
For today I guess I should count the hard candies I ate but I really don't want to. But I know that if I do count them then I am being true to myself and pretending they don't exist I am only cheating myself. So here's to being true to myself (and yall).

The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!
-Marvin Phillips

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Wow, it really is. (good for the diet)

So I went to weigh in tonight on a very empty stomach and I lost 2.4lbs! Now before we get too excited I will keep in mind that I was fasting. Still, it has to count for something. My weight loss total since blogging is a whopping 8.2lbs! I have totally surprised even myself.
I had a realization as I fasted today that I would like to share. I recently posted about how food is such a part of celebration and every function we go to is all about food. I realized that we are hard wired that way, otherwise why would a sign of mourning be about fasting. To feel afflicted or even to feel the pain of others we afflict ourselves by refraining from eating and drinking and thereby we can sort of feel we are missing something crucial. That's just it, eating is so crucial, its such part of us that we feel pain when we can't. (So I guess we can blame G-d for weight issues.)
My point is that I do not want to be uninvited to parties because the challenge of food is not going to go away; and although I did lose a lot this week, I cannot fast once a week- I get a little nasty when I don't eat (ask my coworkers). I want to be able to say that I am in control, that I know that parties are going to happen but they will not be the end of good eating habits. I want, as I am sure all of you do, to go to a party, have one piece of cake and move on. That is my goal!
So join me on the journey and embrace the parties and good times!

I would like to thank Zehava for her recent comment about the break-fast. She said "This is what I say for break-fast. Eat dinner. That's it. No need to make up what you didn't eat." I read that and thought, I can do that, I know I can. So I came home and ate what I would have eaten had I not fasted all day and no more. And I am so full, but so happy with that self control that I am giving a shout out to Z (and myself of course, but this is my blog after all).
Thanks everyone for listening. I hope you had a meaningful fast.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Fasting is good for the diet

I am posting to say good luck with your fast! I tanked up on water because I find that helps to prevent me from getting a headache. I rarely drink caffeine so that should also help avoid the headache. But I certainly love to eat, so that is where it gets hard.
I think that the most important thing to remember is when you break your fast not to binge.
Eat slowly, let it digest and you will not eat all the calories for one day in one meal. Give your body a chance to recover before going at the food again.
I made a very veggies lasagna for tomorrow night. I rarely eat pasta (too many points for so little and pasta is such a comfort food that I cannot eat just a little). For the break-fast I thought pasta would be a great food, though. So I made this lasagna in a very deep pan and layered very little cheese and sauce amongst lots and lots of broccoli, spinach and zucchini.
I made it Sunday and I can't wait for tomorrow night to try it out. I wanted to get whole wheat noodles but there weren't any in lasagna form, but I compromised by not using the whole box of lasagna in the recipe. I will let you know how it comes out.
And I hope you aren't reading this when you are already hungry, this is only going to make it worse. Sorry.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

In the Beginning

Hi guys! below is one of my favorite jokes and the ending on this one is slightly different then the one I have usually seen.
I am feeling sick to my stomach today but not badly enough to stop eating :). I am looking forward to my weigh in this week because its on Asara B'teves and that is usually a shoo in for weight loss. Although it will be totally skewed because I am not so deserving of the loss this week.
We will see what happens. For now, enjoy the joke and have a very healthy day!

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.
And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.
Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.
And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.
And God created the life-giving tofu.
And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Any Excuse for Food

Has anyone ever wondered why it is that every celebration in life means there will be food? Today, as I drove home from a birthday party I pondered this very question. I have been to many parties recently, all involving food. Good-bye parties, birthday, chanuka, holiday, lets get together and eat whatever we can parties. There are always the bridal showers, brisim, kiddush, engagements, weddings. Lets not exclude the singles "parties", the events we get together at to meet new people, old people, people we are already friends with. EVERYTHING comes with food attached.
Have you ever imagined what it would be like to celebrate without food?
What would happen if we went to a birthday party and there was no cake or ice cream? What would we do? How would we sing happy birthday with no cake and candles to blow out?
My observation here is merely to point out that I think I can blame my weight, or more correctly, my inability to have self-control on society.
Phew, now I feel better!
Actually, now I feel sick. I absolutely feel like I ate everything in sight over the past 24 hours of celebrating all sorts of things. I lost control and let it go, but I have society (and Mendy- he said I could) to blame for it.
Needless to say it has not been the best two diet days of my life.
But as my friend told me she recently heard at a Weight Watchers meeting...
"Don't let a lapse become a collapse"
So let's hope I can get back on track easily and if you are making any sort of celebration soon...consider taking me off the invitation list.
Have a great Shabbos.