Sunday, February 22, 2009

This Too Shall Pass...Now Would Be Good

I have not been so into this blog lately, which I noticed is directly related to the fact that I have not been so into dieting lately.
It makes sense, I guess, but then I realized if I would be honest and just blog how I feel then maybe I will stop eating to overcome the desperation.
Nothing in particular has set me off. Honestly, no bad dates, no deaths in the family (yup, those two are pretty closely related on the pain scale), I like my job, I have great and supportive friends. I think its just been too much winter already and no vacation days, no warm and sunny, lets get outside and live life days. It's a lot more let's stay indoors on the couch watching bad movies and eating days.
I feel as though February is just like that for a lot of people, kind of blah. I mean it's mid winter, no holidays and no fun days so it's easier to get stuck in a rut. I liken it to a fog. It's as if a fog has been put over my eyes, not a thick one, but one that just clouds my vision a drop and makes it feel as if I am muddling through. It's not only in dieting. i feel like I am struggling in many aspects of my life, like my day to day religion is a struggle and not biting my nails is a struggle and then I find it is easier to just give in to it rather than fight it.
That's it. That is the bottom line. the past few weeks I have just not had the strength to fight the fight and it is easier to give in, so I have.
I am not proud of this, but I am being honest. I am learning that for me, life is cyclic, sometimes its easier to be in control and sometimes it's harder, but even when it is hard I know it won't last forever and that gives me the strength to hold on. This fog will lift and I will see the sun bright and shining.
Until then I will use the last bit of strength I have to hold on to here and now and not let myself fall further than this.
I really will get back on track, it will be one day soon.

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. ~Horace


yblubin said...

It's a good thing Feb. is the shortest month of the year. Also, Purim is right around the corner. I know that might not be the best holiday for dieters, but it can be fun too and it doesn't have to be all about eating. Mishenichnas Adar Marbim b'simcha! Chodesh Tov!

She-nerd said...

i'm glad you posted. i think life is cyclical for most people. that's probably why we have holidays at various points during the year, supposed to give you a recharge when you need it. luckily february is almost over and with it, hopefully winter too. just this morning i noticed the sun was up when i got up - which it hasn't been for a while. just hang in'll be hot before you know it, and you'll be wishing for cooler weather!

M said...

As a teacher Feb has ALWAYS been the worst month (and November) for being so smack in the draggiest part of the year - winter seems endless and there is nothing but blah and cold. I definitely gain more weight and I also slack off on things, primarily my teaching (and cleaning, not that I was ever so good about that but still) - this is the time of year when I do "group work" which my students eventually realize is the lazy man's way of teaching. Anyway I totally relate and I think sometimes the only way to get through it is to let yourself slack a bit and then you will eventually hit an upswing. It's not like you're smoking or hurting yourself, you're just comforting yourself until you don't need to.

Zehava said...

I think that the fact that asparagus is on sale for $1.49/lb this week at KF is a sign from G-d that we should stay strong! But I must say, I've hit a plateau and this is really hard to maintain if you aren't seeing results....But I'm trying my best to stay strong! I think I'm going to run a half marathon on April 26th, so hopefully that will give me the motivation I need....Keep strong! Spring is right around the corner. A month from now we'll be putting away our winter coats!