Monday, February 9, 2009

Have Mercy

I think I have been reluctant to post another blog because I ate a lot this weekend and very little of it was justified. I am tired of dieting. I really am. I have to say it sometimes feels good to just eat with reckless abandon until your stomach hurts and you feel guilty. Then, of course, you feel guilty but you are satisfied and you have gotten it out of your system. ( I hear the comments,'s never good, stay focused...blah, blah, blah.)
I am coming to the realization (a realization I have like once a day), that this is a life long process. I am going to be in it for the long haul. In the scheme of things what's one wedding of great food and even better dessert? Or really more honestly, what's one weekend of good food and good desserts?
It's the same thing over and over (aren't yall getting tired of me and my realizations-that are the same every time?). It's okay for me to have a "bad" weekend if I am good most of the time. I did wake up this morning and think "the 2 lbs I likely gained this weekend are going to take me two weeks to get off". Then I was annoyed, but I was still happy I ate that chocolate explosion dessert.
I did get a cold this weekend because I have been run down and busy and Hashem knew I needed a day off of work and the only way I would take it and actually rest was if I felt badly. So He did me this small tova and I spent the day in bed and now I am rested and more relaxed. Although I do still feel much like my head is under water.
The other silver lining to this cloud of a cold is that I sort of lost my appetite today. Not much tempted me and a lot of things feel like they are going to burn my throat on the way down, so I passed.
So even though one day of eating very little doesn't usually help the weekend of dinner with parents in the city, Shabbos with yummy Biscotti and my aunt's chocolate chip cookies that are heavenly, an engagement party Sat night with tons of yummy, yummy treats, Sunday morning brunch with my parents and a very fancy wedding, I am hoping the scale will have rachmanus on me.
And I am hoping yall will too.

PS: Shout out to Marg (who I am certain only did it cuz she was expecting this) for bringing me chicken soup as the cure all for my cold and the LAST piece of her milk chocolate Godiva because she knew I needed it more than the soup. Thanks, M. I recognize that BB (before blog) you would have brought over the whole box of leftover dark ones.


Zehava said...

I have rachmanus on you....I know this is a lifelong pursuit and sometimes that is really daunting and I've been in your position many many times....I honestly have no idea what is different about this time....but whatever it is, I thank G-d for it.....

Also, you really do look great, that's why I don't put so much pressure on you. :)

Good luck on your weigh in tommorow!

She-nerd said...

i agree with zehava. you look great. one of my biggest realizations in college was a small handout one of my nutrition professors handed out called "What is normal eating?" It said that part of normal eating is sometimes overdoing it and sometimes not eating well b/c you just don't feel like it. That was really eye-opening. it meant you didn't hvae to feel bad if you had a bad eating day or two. it was completely normal.

i think this is probably the link to that handout:

M said...

I KNEW you'd say that aobut the soup and it is NOT TRUE, if I was that blog obsessed I wouldn't have brought the chocolate, so there. Shira's post reminds me of one of my fav parts in Bridget Jones when her friend says, you need X number of calories to survive and she was like, wait, calories are actually good for you?? So obviously over doing it isnt, but it is very much within the range of normalness, and as I said on some other post, if your pattern is generally good then those off days matter a lot less. Plus I really do believe its beter for your morale, and you probably enjoyed the wedding a lot more (and as you said, not more of those coming any time soon, anyway).
I think you look great, too!

SaraK said...

I agree, sometimes you do need to enjoy yourself. You are looking really great these days, and you WILL get your goal weight soon. You are making very good decisions. Part of living is not depriving yourself, every once in a while.