Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Time out from Exercise :(

I weighed in again today and I am still way above where I want to be. I kind of wish I could attribute it to something other than myself but I am the one responsible here.
So I am back to counting points and logging everything I eat (well, almost everything).
The real bummer is that I am having a pain in my left hip that I know is from exercising too much last week. Everyone always says watch out for your knees but it seems that my hip is giving me the trouble. I worked out 5 times last week, ran a total of 11 miles and did a very intense step class with a riser on my step. That does not include the elliptical I also did here and there. So I think I just pushed myself too hard and now I am forcing myself to stay home and not exercise. Its not even for the weight loss as much as for the satisfaction I have from doing it, that I am missing it so much. My body and soul just feel better when I am able to be active. I sleep better and in turn I feel a lot better.
Honestly, I never thought these words would be my own. Until about 6 years ago I never did any exercise. I went to a Jewish Day School where their idea of exercise is letting us walk 4 minutes to school. Actually at one point Cher was my gym teacher, because we were sort of forced to do a workout video once a week and my friend had this Cher step class and we would "do" it. I would more like watch Cher do it and call it exercising my eyes.
I have come along way since then. Exercise has become a routine part of my life to the point where it is actually enjoyable while doing it and the myriad of benefits that come along with it are perks too.
So I am now a big advocate of exercise and I think that even though I may have a couple extra pounds, I would have a lot more if I did not exercise and they would be in a lot worse places. Running especially has really helped me slim down and lose inches.
So I pray that my hip gets better in time for my step class on Thursday and I will cut down to running twice a week and elliptical in between. If it still hurts, I will see a doctor (or ignore it till it becomes fungating).

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
~Ellen DeGeneres

Sunday, February 22, 2009

This Too Shall Pass...Now Would Be Good

I have not been so into this blog lately, which I noticed is directly related to the fact that I have not been so into dieting lately.
It makes sense, I guess, but then I realized if I would be honest and just blog how I feel then maybe I will stop eating to overcome the desperation.
Nothing in particular has set me off. Honestly, no bad dates, no deaths in the family (yup, those two are pretty closely related on the pain scale), I like my job, I have great and supportive friends. I think its just been too much winter already and no vacation days, no warm and sunny, lets get outside and live life days. It's a lot more let's stay indoors on the couch watching bad movies and eating days.
I feel as though February is just like that for a lot of people, kind of blah. I mean it's mid winter, no holidays and no fun days so it's easier to get stuck in a rut. I liken it to a fog. It's as if a fog has been put over my eyes, not a thick one, but one that just clouds my vision a drop and makes it feel as if I am muddling through. It's not only in dieting. i feel like I am struggling in many aspects of my life, like my day to day religion is a struggle and not biting my nails is a struggle and then I find it is easier to just give in to it rather than fight it.
That's it. That is the bottom line. the past few weeks I have just not had the strength to fight the fight and it is easier to give in, so I have.
I am not proud of this, but I am being honest. I am learning that for me, life is cyclic, sometimes its easier to be in control and sometimes it's harder, but even when it is hard I know it won't last forever and that gives me the strength to hold on. This fog will lift and I will see the sun bright and shining.
Until then I will use the last bit of strength I have to hold on to here and now and not let myself fall further than this.
I really will get back on track, it will be one day soon.

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. ~Horace

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Food for Thought

Blogging about dieting gets boring.
How about we switch topics for today and talk about the shidduch crisis?
Then I can call the blog "Dating Makes My Clothes Shrink"
Or we can talk about the financial crisis in the United States and world wide.
Then I can call the blog "Having No Money Makes My Clothes Shrink"
Another possibility for discussion includes do you think Barack Obama is doing and /or will continue to do a good job as president?
Then I can call the blog "Barack Obama Makes My Clothes Shrink"-not so much.
OK How about the effects of global warming, is there really a crisis? And Should we, could we be doing more to prevent the breakdown of the environment?
Then I would call the blog "Does Lowering My Carbon Footprint Also Make My Clothes Shrink?"
Or the way we worship actors and actresses or ballplayers as our modern heroes. Are these people we want our children to look up to?
Then I will call the blog "If only Brad Pitt were Jewish, certainly my clothes would NOT be shrinking"
How about the topic of Free Will. Is there free will? If there is then how can God know all we do and even before we do it and we still have free will?
Then I will call the blog "Philosophy... Just Makes Me Anxious"
And lastly, as a possible blog in case you are bored and want to start one could be a laundry blog and I would call it "Putting Wool in the Dryer Makes My Clothes Shrink"
Have a good day!

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. ~Jennifer Greene Duncan

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

But I did it anyway

I was not going to post tonight, but I am.
I was not going to go to the gym tonight, but I did.
I was not going to go weigh in tonight, but I did.
I was feeling gross and I had to work a little late tonight so I was going to just come home and veg out and get some much needed sleep. Instead I pushed myself and I went to weigh in which was a huge but expected disappointment. I will not disclose just how much I gained, but suffice it to say that it took me weeks to get that much off and I gained it all back in 2 short weeks. It's amazing how badly we want to hold onto our fat.
(I once bought a magnet for someone that reads as follows: The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.)
Anyway I decided after that weigh in that I have no choice but to go to the gym and I ran 3 miles in 32 minutes and I am glad I did.
And then I wasn't going to post because I really, really have nothing to say except I ate too much and I shouldn't have and now I am annoyed. Y'all are going to be all nice and say things like "just keep trying, it's only a small setback" and the like. What you may really be thinking is, "if she eats like a pig, she deserves to look like one" or "I can only help those who help themselves". I know that's what I would be thinking about me. (I still would rather hear the earlier in your comments, rather than the latter or no more shout outs for you)
Here is how I am feeling: tired and weak and frustrated. I resolve to take those negative energies and thoughts and get rid of them. I have had my fun the past two weeks, basically eating whatever I want. Now is the time to get serious again, count points, have willpower, overcome the temptations!!
Please, God, give me strength.

Monday, February 16, 2009

I protest

I am learning a lot about myself, more and more each day. Most recently I have learned that I feel better about myself when I am in control of my eating habits but I still like to eat more than I care. Isn't that the craziest thing?
It's the whole idea of the intellect being unable to overpower the emotion. It's like a smoker that knows that every cigarette is going to bring him closer to death but still he cannot stop smoking. Every alcoholic has the same dilemma as does every morbidly obese person.
I am hoping I don't make it to morbidly obese and that I can nip this in the bud before I get there.
Speaking of obese I would like to discuss something which I think (even as a medical professional) is a totally unfair and unjust measurement of weight.
That is the BMI calculator.
For those of you that are unaware of this system please click here for more info.
I think this chart system is way unfair. It makes no distinction between men and women and it makes us all seem obese. I just calculated mine at 24.9, which by the skin of my teeth is a normal weight. 25 is considered overweight. Actually, I haven't weighed myself in two weeks and I am certain after tomorrow I will be closer to obese :(. But lets say you are 5'7". 135 lbs is considered to be an average healthy weight in mid range of normal. Now I must admit I have never weighed in at 135. I skipped right over those numbers from grade school into high school. Seriously, scales in my house don't go that low.
But I think the BMI is a product of society and a bunch of skinny doctors who think that the average size 12 woman is obese. Give me a break. Not everyone is going to weigh 125 lbs and fit into a size 4. That is just not the reality.
I say we ditch the BMI. All in favor, say I!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I seriously cannot stop eating! I love to eat! I love chocolate! Honestly, I don't even care if I don't have a Valentine, I am going to eat all the chocolates anyway! Try and stop me...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Excuses, Excuses

I have many excuses tonight for why I didn't go to weigh in at Weight Watchers, but most of you can probably guess them all. I begin with the least incriminating. I have a bad cold. Stuffy head, stuffy nose and I went to work today. I fell asleep at my desk waiting for a patient. It is that bad. As I left work I decided I was just too tired and cranky to go to find out that I gained and feel more defeated than I already am.
So instead I ate too much for dinner. Then I justified that by sating that I have a bad cold, stuffy head, stuffy nose and penne a la vodka was pretty much the only thing I felt would satisfy me. So I ate it and now I feel sick. Are you happy now???
By the way, pasta is not a food I eat very much at all. I like it but its not one of those foods I have to have. I rarely make it and if I do its in a vegetable lasagna after a fast day. When I go out to eat I rarely order it because I like other things better. But sometimes I just have to eat it and then I am good for like another 6 months.
I figured that once this week was shot what's one more day?
But now I am done. I feel as though I have fulfilled my cheating quota for the month. I have tasted and eaten pretty much everything I have wanted in the last 5 days and I am going to jump back in the saddle again. It's fleishigs for breakfast lunch and dinner, no junk and gym as much as possible.
We will see how long this lasts. I am hoping for a good week.
PS Another reason I didn't want to go weigh in was because I fear that my highest weight for 2009 might be right now. uh oh!

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields

Monday, February 9, 2009

Have Mercy

I think I have been reluctant to post another blog because I ate a lot this weekend and very little of it was justified. I am tired of dieting. I really am. I have to say it sometimes feels good to just eat with reckless abandon until your stomach hurts and you feel guilty. Then, of course, you feel guilty but you are satisfied and you have gotten it out of your system. ( I hear the comments, now...it's never good, stay focused...blah, blah, blah.)
I am coming to the realization (a realization I have like once a day), that this is a life long process. I am going to be in it for the long haul. In the scheme of things what's one wedding of great food and even better dessert? Or really more honestly, what's one weekend of good food and good desserts?
It's the same thing over and over (aren't yall getting tired of me and my realizations-that are the same every time?). It's okay for me to have a "bad" weekend if I am good most of the time. I did wake up this morning and think "the 2 lbs I likely gained this weekend are going to take me two weeks to get off". Then I was annoyed, but I was still happy I ate that chocolate explosion dessert.
I did get a cold this weekend because I have been run down and busy and Hashem knew I needed a day off of work and the only way I would take it and actually rest was if I felt badly. So He did me this small tova and I spent the day in bed and now I am rested and more relaxed. Although I do still feel much like my head is under water.
The other silver lining to this cloud of a cold is that I sort of lost my appetite today. Not much tempted me and a lot of things feel like they are going to burn my throat on the way down, so I passed.
So even though one day of eating very little doesn't usually help the weekend of dinner with parents in the city, Shabbos with yummy Biscotti and my aunt's chocolate chip cookies that are heavenly, an engagement party Sat night with tons of yummy, yummy treats, Sunday morning brunch with my parents and a very fancy wedding, I am hoping the scale will have rachmanus on me.
And I am hoping yall will too.

PS: Shout out to Marg (who I am certain only did it cuz she was expecting this) for bringing me chicken soup as the cure all for my cold and the LAST piece of her milk chocolate Godiva because she knew I needed it more than the soup. Thanks, M. I recognize that BB (before blog) you would have brought over the whole box of leftover dark ones.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Soy siempre a régimen

So tonight is pretty much the same as last night. I am tired and my creative juices are not flowing at this time.
I did blow it tonight at a really nice restaurant and I felt alarmingly okay with it. Here is the thing: I rarely go out to eat, and even rarer do I go to a nice restaurant. My parents are here and so we went to Tevere in the city whose food I happen to really like. I got a mixed plate with a piece of chicken, veal and lamb and shared them with my parents, but I did eat a fair amount. The thing is that then I had dessert. My thought process was not that I already blew it so why not go for the gold, but more honestly, it was I never eat at such nice places and I may as well enjoy myself this once. It's not that I don't often cheat here and there and have some junk food, or overeat. Here I felt like its like a once a year thing. When I go out to enjoy a nice meal, I want to enjoy it to the fullest extent. It's then that I say "you only live once".
That's my feeling and I know some of you may disagree but I think its like deli roll- a once a year food.
I hope all of you have a great Shabbos and I look forward to updating all of you after the wedding. I am certain I won't be able to skip the shmorg and then when food is in front of me I have a hard time saying no. So I think I will be careful at the shmorg and have a drink in hand at all times, and then eat in moderation at the dinner. Wish me luck.
I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. ~Erma Bombeck

Keep 'em coming

I have very little to contribute tonight. I am so so so tired and being tired makes it harder for me to diet, so I am off to bed.
But I am warning that this weekend is going to be a doozy. I have yet another (#8 in the last 13 months, bli ayin hara, kayn yirbu))first cousin's wedding (from the fancy side of the family)on Sun night and my parents are coming in town (yay)! So we are already planning on dinner out tomorrow night and then Shabbos. I don't think Shabbos will be so bad because people I will be with will all be dieting. Then the big wedding, for which I will have to just be wise about. I have a goal of not gaining this week, and I will be ok if I do not lose. Its also going to be harder for me to get to the gym because of all the festivities.
So I will practice forgiving myself this week and letting go of having to be at the gym, in order to enjoy my family and a beautiful simcha.
Wish me luck!
Good night, I am falling asleep typing and I have to get up early tomorrow because I am starting a Spanish class once a week. Maybe at the end I will be able to blog in Spanish!

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Ten pounds for Pesach

I am sensing that this blog is all about who can get more shout outs and I am wondering exactly who you think is reading it. I mean I would love if we went public and all and yall will certainly be the first followers, but for now it seems its just us reading and its not a competition. Do you guys only talk to me so you can see if you make it on the blog?
I guess that works, cuz I lost 0.8 lbs today and I am at the lowest point since the blog began. For a total weight loss of (drumroll, please) 8.4 lbs since December 1. Not bad. Not bad at all. It is always slower fro me after the first month and I basically want to lose ten more pounds and we all know that the last 10 lbs are the hardest to lose. So as long as you all keep reading and I keep writing and we all keep sharing great food and diet ideas, we can make it all the way till Pesach!!!
That's the goal, 10 lbs before Pesach. Yikes, I can't even say that word (pesach) it makes me nervous and I feel like I have to start cleaning or stressing or something.
So again, if until the holiday, which shall remain nameless, we can keep Z and Marg fighting over who deserves the shout outs then I will keep dieting and blogging.
And by all means if you want a shout out, just tell me and I will be happy to oblige- as long as you have done something to make it easier for me to diet.
Happy and Healthy Day to all.
PS and yes Marg that conversation we had about the puffed wheat was the inspiration for yesterday's blog, so shout out to you!

If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush. ~Dawn French

Monday, February 2, 2009

Z, sorry this blog is not for you

I would like to discuss a diet phenomenon I find fascinating.
Here is the scenario. I am dieting weekly and eating a lot of the same old same old boring foods. So lots of turkey and asparagus and even though I like them both a lot, I get bored.
I also basically eat the same cereal every single day for breakfast with no milk, Crunchy Corn Bran. I like it. It's low in points. It's a little filling and a little sweet, but not sweet like fruity pebbles sweet (yum).
last week I decide that 5 years of the same cereal every day gets boring and I need a change. Usually when this happens I switch to oatmeal or cream of wheat for a week and inevitably return to CCB.
This time I decide to try Puffed Wheat. Now Zehava will often extol the virtues of Puffed Wheat and so I was willing to try it.
People, all I can say is, do not try it, it is so not worth it. Mind you, it is so low in points that you could eat the whole box in one day and still not fulfill half your points for the day. But who in their right mind wants to eat an entire box of light and fluffy cardboard??? The stuff is so bland and so dry that I loaded it with sweet and low and cinnamon and had to use milk and still it was like eating soggy cardboard with cinnamon.
Then I would just crave food all morning. I mean who wouldn't if all they ate for breakfast was cardboard? I would have eaten the cereal box for less calories.
I did finish the whole box throughout the week last week because this is a recession and who can afford to throw away cardbo...I mean food.
For me tasteless and bland, no matter how low in calories gives me very little eating satisfaction and I think I even crave food with rich taste afterward.
Needless to say, tomorrow is back to the Crunchy Corn bran for me.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Z, this blog's for you!

Huge Shout out to Zehava for being my most loyal blogging friend and for passing it on to her friends. (Everyone settle down and let me humor Zehava, before yall start to write in that you think you are my most loyal fan.)
I couldn't do this without you, because frankly there would be no point in blogging if no one is reading and certainly if no one is commenting. So thanks, Z for keeping me going and for calling me thin, I am flattered.
Tonight is the Super Bowl and while I have no idea who is playing, nor do I care, I think that it can be connected to dieting somehow. I am certain everything in life can be connected to dieting.
The Superbowl is all about winning, reaching the goal. Even though its men running after a ball because their life depends on it, they are still running towards a goal. Now each team in the league will begin the season hoping to make it all the way to the Super Bowl. Some will not make it anywhere near and some will come close (think Tennessee). But all of them would love to be there and they will work their hardest to get there. When they fail, they get up and try again next year.
Quite honestly I think it's ridiculous. I (if you couldn't guess) think football and most commercial sports are overrrated. I mean, seriously, grown men running after each other and physically knocking each other down to get a pigskin. Its weird, I am sorry.
Now if the goal we are trying to reach is more noble, than to me it IS certainly worth running after with all of your strength and with the expectation that you will make it to the end. In the instance that you don't make it to the end this year, don't lose sight of the fact that you can get up and try again next year.
And with a couple of good endorsements, you can make it BIG.
We are all already winners because we have chosen to live a healthier lifestyle, but in terms of goals, may this be the year we make it all the way to the "Super Bowl"!

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. ~Author Unknown