Thursday, January 29, 2009

Shout Out

This blog is dedicated to all of
the people in my life who are supportive and caring and joining in on the journey to a healthier and balanced self.
Many of them deserve shout outs because...well...because...they seem to have changed their own eating habits in order to get shout outs on the blog. If you are that dedicated to this blog then here goes:
Marg: SHOUT OUT!!! loud and clear for bringing peppers and popcorn to our Broadway show last night and helping me to avoid the M&Ms at the concession stand. I guess the economy deserves a shout out too, because frankly I can't afford concessions in the city during these tough economic times.
Sara: SHOUT OUT!!! loud and clear for swapping soup with me this week, and for offering to make grilled chicken for the Shabbos meal. I am certain you heard that down the block.
Esther P: SHOUT OUT!!! loud and clear for, well I can't really remember exactly what for...hmmm... for being my friend. (she won't mind, she is too busy to read the blog, but in case you do, shout out for being you)
This could go on forever but I will stop here...
I am off to bed because I have had a long and busy week and I know I make better choices when I am not so tired.
Have a great Shabbos and remember if you do something because you want a shout out, I respect and appreciate that. Mitoch Shelo Lshma Ba Lshma.
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again"
- George Miller

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Google It.

The good news: I lost 1.6lbs at my last weigh in.
And now you are waiting for the bad news and the better news is that there is no bad news. I just started the blog that way and got to thinking that everyone will be expecting bad news. There is none, my car is currently cleaner because the snow has wiped away all of the stuff. Thanks, G-d.
I have been super busy the past few days and I have very little time to write right now because I am on my way out the door. I just couldn't pass up the oppotunity to update yall on the weight loss. Go me. I am still struggling with the balance but obviously when you lose instead of gain it is easier to stay focused.
I learned last night (thanks, Ilana) that if I ever move out of the US it will be to Australia. Why, you might ask?
In Australia I would only weigh about 11 stones.
Have a great one guys.

Monday, January 26, 2009

A Matter of Perspective

Sorry I have been remiss in blogging for a few days. I needed a break from the diet obsession. I find that when I have a few weeks of gaining I am not as eager to continue. Also its been like 6 weeks and I am just not that strong.
I feel like what's it all for? To wear one size smaller? To feel a bit thinner? Is it going to change who I am as a person? Am I losing sight of what is most important in my life?
On the other side, when I get to thinking like that I find that it is a slippery slope. That if I am realistic and decide that i don't want to be in such good control, I let it slide right by and I am 10 lbs heavier in two weeks.
I know its about balance and that is why I am not giving up. I am thinking about plataeuing-like just staying here, in control, but not necessarily "dieting" and forgiving myself one week of not losing. I know I just gained and I want to get that off but I also want to avoid becoming obsessed with the diet.
I had a totally non diet related experience that I think can become related to dieting and I really want to share it because it was just so classic.
Yesterday I had my car washed. "Stacy" is my Mini and she was filthy from all the snow and salt and sand and I really could not see out the windows because she was so dirty. So I finally took her in for her wash and she looks amazing! So clean inside and out and fresh and sparkly. I am ok with the fact that it is going to snow again but at least it won't be more grime on grime.
I leave work and go to my car tonight and as I am walking I am thinking, that is weird. There are no leaves on the trees to have fallen on my car. I get closer and I realize that birds must have seen how shiny my car was and decided to use it as their toilet for today. Like every single bird in NYC needed to go on MY car, today, the day after I spent $20 on getting her clean. I am not even exaggerating. My car is covered. Roof, hood windows, windshield, rear window. So, so gross.
I got to thinking...
It's a mashal for life. Just when you think you have it made, the birds come pooping down...
Sorry that is awful..
But here is the positive spin. I was actually laughing that it happened because there was just so much irony. And then I realized that it was okay. There was no ticket and no dent and car crash. Just a bit of bird doo that will come off with another $20. So I was grateful and happy.
So here is where it ties in to the diet. There are always two ways to look at things. Setbacks, weight gain, lack of motivation can all be bird poop on your newly washed car, or they can be a way to reassess, to take stock to put it in perspective. To say I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been. I take care of myself, I am blessed with good health and 10 lbs is not the end of my life. And I still chose to watch it. It's not like I will never get my car washed again, next time I just won't park under a tree the next day.

I thank Hashem for the wonderful, working, healthy body He has given me and continues to give me every day and I pray that He gives me the strength to keep it healthy in order to serve Him to the best of my ability.
PS I also pray that the birds fly south very soon :)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Be nice, please

I was really not going to blog tonight because I am tired and I did something really dumb that I do not want to confess. But, perhaps if I get it off my chest and confess it aloud it will go away.
I came home from a great gym workout and was in a mood. I had this feeling of just wanting to get into the bed and stay there for a few days with a good book and a few movies. But, alas I cannot call out sick tomorrow for a multitude of reasons.
So, I decided it would be better to be productive. I then decided that I want to make cookies for the morning meeting we have at 8am. It's an informal meeting and it would be nice to treat the group to some fresh baked cookies and I was in the mood to bake.
This happens, as She-nerd can attest to, and usually the cookies never made it out of the oven, let alone the house.
Anyway, much to my own dismay I made these delicious cookies called dishpan cookies with oatmeal and corn flakes and nuts. They are chewy and yummy! I admit that I licked more batter than I should have and I ate a few of the broken cookies.
It seems to be a theme here but I will say it again... it could have been worse. Instead of eating more and more I now have them packed away to take to work in their nice container for tomorrow and I will not, not, not, eat anymore.
I did have some points left over so it wasn't all bad, and I am just not Z that I have that much self control right now.
I notice that when I am tired my resolve weakens and I find it much harder to stay on track. I am certain we all have triggers such as that.
Therefore, I am going to bed now and I am actually glad I won't be able to read this till tomorrow afternoon when all of you have told me to stay strong and all that.
I am trying, I really am.
I just love sweets and cookies and cakes and CHOCOLATE, of course.
Be nice to me, I am fragile...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Do you think you could eat Burger King every day for lunch?

As many of my loyal followers were informed, I am no longer able to check the blog at work anymore. The company I work for has tightened their internet restrictions and now I can no longer get into blogs at work. Which makes sense intellectually but is really, really annoying. It's not like I don't do my work. I do it and I do it well. So why can't I check my blog if I am getting all my work done. I guess they want me to look for more work to do.
It will be fine as long as all of you continue to follow and are patient for my responses.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:
I think that in yesterday's comments people were discussing the idea of knowing what is right to eat and what is wrong. What strikes me is that for me it's not about knowing it, it's about executing. I know that asparagus is better for me than a chocolate bar, but I often would still rather eat the chocolate. For me it is so much more about self control than eating the wrong foods.
But what really gets me is when people really are uneducated about their food choices. Sometimes I will see people eating Burger King or other fast food and all I can think is that that is an entire day's worth of calories in your one meal. If I ate non kosher I am certain I would eat it on occasion, but what I do not understand is how people can order this three times a week for lunch. I just cannot fathom this at all. But I do know that it has a lot to do with what people can afford and unfortunately the unhealthy food is the cheapest and that is what people can afford so that's what they eat.
I am thankful to Hashem that I have been given the knowledge to live a healthier lifestyle and the resources to be able to afford this lifestyle. Now if only He would take away my love for chocolate...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I should have had the peanut butter bar

I am utterly frustrated and disappointed but I will blog anyway because yall deserve to know.
I went to weigh in tonight and I gained 1.6lbs (gasp, shriek). I am certain that there was a mistake but I weighed myself on two scales at work and they both said similar numbers to these.
I feel the need to justify. I was very good this week. Short of starving myself I was great. When I went to weigh in I was very bloated (vhamaivin yavin) and my stomach was killing me from the lunch I ate. I made wraps with ground turkey and grilled veggies and these new spinach tortillas that have so much fiber I think my stomach was on fiber overload. So I think that has a lot to do with the gain. Oh and of course my sweater was very heavy.
What a bummer! I kind of had this feeling that I was trying to be so open and set practical goals, and then man plans and G-d laughs! Yes, I am blaming my weight gain on G-d, at this point I feel it is justified.
But I will persevere and continue on this journey because I wore a skirt today that I have not worn since last winter and it's not perfect but it is definitely more wearable than last year. And I wore something else recently that when I first got it I could only wear with a girdle and I have now worn it sans girdle. So it is worth it to plug along and keep trying. I know it is, it is often setbacks such as these that get me off track but I am determined not to let that happen to me this time.

Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

PS: All I could think when I saw the weight was, for 1.6 lbs I could have had at least one peanut butter bar!!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Weekend Update:
I think I was pretty amazing this weekend considering the possibilities. It was such a beautiful weekend and full of elaborate meals with tons of food. I overcame. I had one piece of challah at each meal (half at Shalosh seuodos). I only ate the dessert put in front of me. I did not snack on a single cookie, cake, bar or candy. I ate salads on Motzaei Shabbos and I ran 4 miles this am at the hotel gym (as an aside the gym had the coolest treadmills ever, check this out).
I am proud to say that my friends all watched out for me and were also very good about what they ate and that certainly helped. But truly the thing that helped the most was knowing that had told you all that I wanted to lose a pound and I just did not want to come to the blog on Tues night and have to be ashamed. I still hope I am not but I really think that regardless of that I came through this weekend with flying colors.
Now I would just like to comment on a comment made at the end of last week's post.
M said something very interesting that I think is important for discussion:
Someone once said to me that while it might seem like an attitude of confidence to say, I eat what I want, who cares, I just live my life, it's really a reflection of poor self image - and it's a stronger person who says I care about myself so of course I eat right - like it becomes a thing to value.
I think this is so true and so brilliant. I also think that while this is not a blog about Judaism, there is a very similar idea in Judaism. It's the whole concept of being free to serve ourselves versus being free to serve Gd and which is considered true freedom?
When we have the option to eat whatever we want whenever we want we are slaves to our selves, we are actually slaves to our stomachs. But when we exhibit self control we are free, we say, I am not a slave to my rumbling gut, but rather I am free to eat as I see is the healthiest and best for me. It does not mean I will never eat unhealthy but I possibly will not become so out of control that I am a slave to my desires. I am not a slave to needing just another small satisfaction on my taste buds. I can treat myself better than that.
So here is to freedom from the chocolate slave!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Healthy (Wealthy) and Wise

Its important to have a diet that is mainly comprised of whole grains, lean proteins and fruits and veggies, even if you aren't overweight. Thin people drop dead too, unfortunately. I think this is something that people realize as they get older, when you are younger and you eat crap you feel fine, but eventually you'll just feel like crap. And who wants to feel like crap, even if the food tasted good?
This is a direct quote from Z's comments on the blog from yesterday. If you haven't read them please do because they are quire intriguing (or they will make you hungry).
I was going to post a further comment on this, but I have decided to post it as my blog for today because I think its a very intersting issue for discussion. Feel free to discuss it A LOT because there will be no post again till Sun night when I can report how I fared (and maybe how SaraK did as well).
My feelings on this subject are in general to agree with Z (except I try to refrain from using the word crap). EVERYONE should eat a healthier diet regardless of your weight. It is certainly wise to get used to more veggies and less sugar. A lot of people, though, are brought up on sugary foods and therefore acquire a sweet tooth. Or people are never served vegetables as a child so they stay away from green things. We have so many wonderful and healthy options that are not processed and will give us all the vitamins and minerals we need if we eat them regularly.
Now I am not saying that I am going to stop eating all white flour or white sugar. That is way too overboard for me personally. But, I get it and I respect people that do it. I think it was G-d's intention when He created the world. I also think that the opposite extreme is unwise and much less healthy nor do I respect that. I think that fast food and the corn industry (for you She-nerd) are the slow death of this country.
So sometimes lets remember that its not all about "weight". It really should be about focusing on eating healthy and in moderation so it becomes a way of life and you are at a healthy weight.
Have a great Shabbos everyone. Thanks for all of your comments this week and I look forward to sharing with you just how much chocolate cake I ate in order to get to that healthy weight :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Snarky but Skinny

Today's blog is dedicated to dear friends of mine who have changed their own way of eating in order to accommodate mine. They know who they are but in case you don't I am giving a huge shout out to M and E for forgoing their fattening pasta with cream sauce (which they can both afford, but which Z thinks should not be allowed on the planet) in order to eat tilapia and asparagus with me. It means a lot to me to have friends that know when to share their milk chocolate Godiva with me and when to hold me back. So thanks guys and I am so grateful to you both.

I need to get psyched for eating healthy over this weekend because we will be having a lot of festivities, a Shabbos kallah followed by a wedding which means a lot of eating and certainly a lot of fun.
I need a plan, though.
I have decided to make my weight loss goal known to you all for this week so when Tuesday comes I will be held to it. My goal for this week is to lose 1 lb. That will take off the half I gained and lower my number so I am down nine pounds. It will leave me with nine lbs left to reach my goal. It is not an unrealisitic goal and if I keep my eyes on the goal then I will be able to do it.
So if you are with me this weekend, gently remind me that I want this, and when I get snarky back, just IGNORE me and repeat yourself.
Thanks, it may not seem at the time like I am grateful but I am telling you I am.
And I apologize in advance for biting your head off!
SK (snarky but skinny?)

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
~Ralph Marston

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

You Can Run but You Can't Hide

Since I know you are all anxiously awaiting my weigh in results, I will hang my head in shame and tell you about today.
I gained 0.6 pounds
All Z's fault :)
Just Joking Z, you are the most positive influence in my life!
Everyone tried really hard to stop me from overeating so I have only myself to blame.

Anyway after WW today I was on my way to the gym and had to stop at Rite Aid for some things. I am feeling badly about myself and I am thinking about eating chocolate. I also have this thing (which is BTW, my mother's fault, for sure)that after I eat tuna I need something chocolatey. Don't ask, I have no idea why, but my mother once told me that she always wants chocolate after tuna and it has been hard wired into my brain.
Anyway I peruse the aisles for an alternative to the disaster waiting to happen and I find sugar free jelly bellies. OK I pick them up, go look for a few more items, get to the counter and see all those yummy chocolate candies, Reese's, Hershey's are all yelling my name from their little shelf.
I try to resist and I fail!
Not miserably, I buy a York Peppermint Pattie which did the trick and wasn't the worst possible choice (that would have been a Nutrageous bar).
It doesn't end here. I check out and I forgot that I picked up the jelly bellies and before I can say I don't want those (because I am busy thinking, do I want them, do I want both, do I need them), conveniently she scans them.
I leave the store in a rush before I begin to hear voices from the peanuts in the corner.
I get to the car and decide to start with the Jelly Bellies hoping I won't make it to the York. I eat like 5 and am dissatisfied by their texture (they are very..gooey, I guess is the right word). I unlock my glove compartment, stuff them in and lock it back up.
I promptly eat the York...
And promptly run 3 miles...

PS A very, very Happy Birthday to SaraK who has joined me in the journey against flab! Thanks for your support! I couldn't do it without you!

Monday, January 12, 2009

In time for Spring

As I sit here waiting to leave work (I am waiting on someone to finish their treatment before I can leave), I am thinking about dinner, of course.
It is Monday and I did not prepare as well as I usually do for the coming week. I did make a salad, but it is small and will only work for lunch tomorrow. So what's for dinner? I need something light because I ate a lot for lunch and something fast because I don't expect to be home before 8 and by then I will be hungry.
I am thinking Dr. Praeger's pizza bagels, oh or maybe I will make my own with the 100calorie sandwich thins I have. Yum!
I was also thinking that I would make a chicken soup in the crockpot for the rest of the week, because of this great link from SaraK about low calorie crockpot cooking.(wow, SaraK I think I got it!)
There is no chicken soup there but Z brought it up as a diet food, filling and perfect for this frigid week here on the East Coast.
Speaking of frigid...Do you think cold weather is more conducive to weight loss? I feel like it is. Its as if the air is so cold we are using lots of calories just to keep our vital organs warm. Now I know SaraK will not like this, but think of it as one advantage to winter weather-that and you can hide behind big sweaters!
I found this from some website that proves my point:
Did you actually know that wintertime is the best time to lose weight? Why?

In winter your body has to use much more energy/calories (used synonymously here) in cold weather than it does in warm weather to keep you warm, therefore, a lot more calories are used than in the warmer months. If you start a weight loss program in the colder months, you don’t have to focus as much on exercise to help shed those pounds because the weather is naturally doing it for you. (I am not sure I agree with so completely- I don't think its cold enough here to forgo exercise, maybe on the North Pole ~SK)

Look at hibernating animals do, they use their stored fat during the winter months to take them into the spring.

If only we could store our summer fat and hibernate all winter! We would be skinny just in time for spring!
Stay Warm and if you make a good soup this week, I want to hear about it.
Stay tuned for Tuesday's weigh in...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

TV+sat night+FOOD

Shabbos was very nice here with the heaviest of the bloggers (aside from She-nerd) all together for Shabbos. You'd think we ate only carrots. Close, but not quite.
I thought it all went really well. Especially since the eruv went down in time for lunch and dessert and taco salad could not be had at lunch. Thankfully the eruv went back up and Melava Malka was a delicious taco salad made with yummy turkey.
It kinda sorta went downhill after that. Now, my theory is that it could have been much worse but it still wasn't too good.
Its just that I think my brain is programmed that when the TV goes on my mouth begins to water. Thankfully I do not have that tumah box in my possession because it is poison both spiritually and for the diet. Since this is a diet blog we will stick to the reasons for that.
Its like I get to the house down the block and although I became fleishig from the turkey there was lots of yummy leftover goodies from Shabbos. I sit, enjoy the salad, cabbage salad and feel the need as these high school kids play football and their parents go to jail, I must eat. There was no suspense in the show and although it quite a gripping show, its not all that exciting. Why must I feel the need to eat through the entire thing? Even watching that bachelor dude make a life altering decision about who his next wife will be and is she beautiful enough (for those of you that saw it with me, you know what I refer to).
It all gives me the feeling that I must eat, eat, eat. Especially on Saturday night. Its as if I am hard wired... Sat night, moronic TV about very skinny single women all fighting for the same man and of course, food.
I think I should start biting my nails, much less calories...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

...If I don't count my lunch

I was talking to my friend recently and I made a comment about my diet that was very telling. I said, "I can have that (insert any food)now. I have enough points if I just don't count the candy." When we realized what I'd said we burst out laughing. And a big joke has ensued such as " Oh yeah I can definitely eat that chocolate bar, if I don't count my lunch".
When I said it it was because I had a few hard candies that day and I knew they were going to have to be reckoned with but I didn't really want to count them because they were so meaningless. In WeightWatchers they have this thing about if you eat it you write it. And then they warn you that they mean the BLTs too (bites, licks and tastes). It is so true that they are so many things we discount because we only tasted it or it was just a hard candy. But I see that when you diet you are held accountable for everything that goes in your mouth (which is a mashal for life, but now is not the right time, and it seems my Mom is best at the Divrei Torah portion of this blog).
Sometimes I want to eat without thinking about what it counts for and how much more I can eat because of it, but I do not think that is my destiny right now. Maybe one day, when I am so in control that I don't have to say diet anymore - (or when models become a size 12 and that becomes the style)
For today I guess I should count the hard candies I ate but I really don't want to. But I know that if I do count them then I am being true to myself and pretending they don't exist I am only cheating myself. So here's to being true to myself (and yall).

The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!
-Marvin Phillips

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Wow, it really is. (good for the diet)

So I went to weigh in tonight on a very empty stomach and I lost 2.4lbs! Now before we get too excited I will keep in mind that I was fasting. Still, it has to count for something. My weight loss total since blogging is a whopping 8.2lbs! I have totally surprised even myself.
I had a realization as I fasted today that I would like to share. I recently posted about how food is such a part of celebration and every function we go to is all about food. I realized that we are hard wired that way, otherwise why would a sign of mourning be about fasting. To feel afflicted or even to feel the pain of others we afflict ourselves by refraining from eating and drinking and thereby we can sort of feel we are missing something crucial. That's just it, eating is so crucial, its such part of us that we feel pain when we can't. (So I guess we can blame G-d for weight issues.)
My point is that I do not want to be uninvited to parties because the challenge of food is not going to go away; and although I did lose a lot this week, I cannot fast once a week- I get a little nasty when I don't eat (ask my coworkers). I want to be able to say that I am in control, that I know that parties are going to happen but they will not be the end of good eating habits. I want, as I am sure all of you do, to go to a party, have one piece of cake and move on. That is my goal!
So join me on the journey and embrace the parties and good times!

I would like to thank Zehava for her recent comment about the break-fast. She said "This is what I say for break-fast. Eat dinner. That's it. No need to make up what you didn't eat." I read that and thought, I can do that, I know I can. So I came home and ate what I would have eaten had I not fasted all day and no more. And I am so full, but so happy with that self control that I am giving a shout out to Z (and myself of course, but this is my blog after all).
Thanks everyone for listening. I hope you had a meaningful fast.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Fasting is good for the diet

I am posting to say good luck with your fast! I tanked up on water because I find that helps to prevent me from getting a headache. I rarely drink caffeine so that should also help avoid the headache. But I certainly love to eat, so that is where it gets hard.
I think that the most important thing to remember is when you break your fast not to binge.
Eat slowly, let it digest and you will not eat all the calories for one day in one meal. Give your body a chance to recover before going at the food again.
I made a very veggies lasagna for tomorrow night. I rarely eat pasta (too many points for so little and pasta is such a comfort food that I cannot eat just a little). For the break-fast I thought pasta would be a great food, though. So I made this lasagna in a very deep pan and layered very little cheese and sauce amongst lots and lots of broccoli, spinach and zucchini.
I made it Sunday and I can't wait for tomorrow night to try it out. I wanted to get whole wheat noodles but there weren't any in lasagna form, but I compromised by not using the whole box of lasagna in the recipe. I will let you know how it comes out.
And I hope you aren't reading this when you are already hungry, this is only going to make it worse. Sorry.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

In the Beginning

Hi guys! below is one of my favorite jokes and the ending on this one is slightly different then the one I have usually seen.
I am feeling sick to my stomach today but not badly enough to stop eating :). I am looking forward to my weigh in this week because its on Asara B'teves and that is usually a shoo in for weight loss. Although it will be totally skewed because I am not so deserving of the loss this week.
We will see what happens. For now, enjoy the joke and have a very healthy day!

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.
And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.
Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.
And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.
And God created the life-giving tofu.
And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Any Excuse for Food

Has anyone ever wondered why it is that every celebration in life means there will be food? Today, as I drove home from a birthday party I pondered this very question. I have been to many parties recently, all involving food. Good-bye parties, birthday, chanuka, holiday, lets get together and eat whatever we can parties. There are always the bridal showers, brisim, kiddush, engagements, weddings. Lets not exclude the singles "parties", the events we get together at to meet new people, old people, people we are already friends with. EVERYTHING comes with food attached.
Have you ever imagined what it would be like to celebrate without food?
What would happen if we went to a birthday party and there was no cake or ice cream? What would we do? How would we sing happy birthday with no cake and candles to blow out?
My observation here is merely to point out that I think I can blame my weight, or more correctly, my inability to have self-control on society.
Phew, now I feel better!
Actually, now I feel sick. I absolutely feel like I ate everything in sight over the past 24 hours of celebrating all sorts of things. I lost control and let it go, but I have society (and Mendy- he said I could) to blame for it.
Needless to say it has not been the best two diet days of my life.
But as my friend told me she recently heard at a Weight Watchers meeting...
"Don't let a lapse become a collapse"
So let's hope I can get back on track easily and if you are making any sort of celebration soon...consider taking me off the invitation list.
Have a great Shabbos.