Sorry I have been remiss in blogging for a few days. I needed a break from the diet obsession. I find that when I have a few weeks of gaining I am not as eager to continue. Also its been like 6 weeks and I am just not that strong.
I feel like what's it all for? To wear one size smaller? To feel a bit thinner? Is it going to change who I am as a person? Am I losing sight of what is most important in my life?
On the other side, when I get to thinking like that I find that it is a slippery slope. That if I am realistic and decide that i don't want to be in such good control, I let it slide right by and I am 10 lbs heavier in two weeks.
I know its about balance and that is why I am not giving up. I am thinking about plataeuing-like just staying here, in control, but not necessarily "dieting" and forgiving myself one week of not losing. I know I just gained and I want to get that off but I also want to avoid becoming obsessed with the diet.
I had a totally non diet related experience that I think can become related to dieting and I really want to share it because it was just so classic.
Yesterday I had my car washed. "Stacy" is my Mini and she was filthy from all the snow and salt and sand and I really could not see out the windows because she was so dirty. So I finally took her in for her wash and she looks amazing! So clean inside and out and fresh and sparkly. I am ok with the fact that it is going to snow again but at least it won't be more grime on grime.
I leave work and go to my car tonight and as I am walking I am thinking, that is weird. There are no leaves on the trees to have fallen on my car. I get closer and I realize that birds must have seen how shiny my car was and decided to use it as their toilet for today. Like every single bird in NYC needed to go on MY car, today, the day after I spent $20 on getting her clean. I am not even exaggerating. My car is covered. Roof, hood windows, windshield, rear window. So, so gross.
I got to thinking...
It's a mashal for life. Just when you think you have it made, the birds come pooping down...
Sorry that is awful..
But here is the positive spin. I was actually laughing that it happened because there was just so much irony. And then I realized that it was okay. There was no ticket and no dent and car crash. Just a bit of bird doo that will come off with another $20. So I was grateful and happy.
So here is where it ties in to the diet. There are always two ways to look at things. Setbacks, weight gain, lack of motivation can all be bird poop on your newly washed car, or they can be a way to reassess, to take stock to put it in perspective. To say I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been. I take care of myself, I am blessed with good health and 10 lbs is not the end of my life. And I still chose to watch it. It's not like I will never get my car washed again, next time I just won't park under a tree the next day.
I thank Hashem for the wonderful, working, healthy body He has given me and continues to give me every day and I pray that He gives me the strength to keep it healthy in order to serve Him to the best of my ability.
SK
PS I also pray that the birds fly south very soon :)
Monday, January 26, 2009
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4 comments:
Yay, we're back!
I so completely related to this post, SK, thanks a ton for sharing it. I vacillate a ton on the dieting thing because thereis always this feeling I have of, then what? So I get thinner and look better and then ... I am happier? Worse, it's inevitable that with the new look will come a relapse in old eating habits, so just pass the chocolate.
Anyway, I will say this:
1 - I know, as you do, how much happier you are when you A have a goal and B like the way you look, so that's what this is about - generally feeling in control, which I guess runs counter to the bird sitch, but is something to think about in terms of why we stick with something
2 - It's all about balance - yes with every diet comes that obsession factor which is not any better than obsessing over food in the other direction, but I think it starts becoming just plain being a balanced person, because you can't stay on a serious diet forever (I don't think) but you can learn about what works for you, what makes you feel good, and exercise caution if not restraint. Ultimately a diet should be, I think, a celebration of self and that doesn't come from deprivation per se as much as it comes from doing what's best for yourself which will sometimes mean cookies and sometimes mean carrots.
Beautiful post, Sarah. And I am sorry about the birds pooping on Stacy.
i'd rather be obsessed and thin than laidback and fat. i am happier when i'm thinner.
Sorry I haven't posted until now, but Sarah I talk to you so much these days that I don't even feel like I have anything more to say!
All I can offer is that for me at least, its all about finding the motivation to stick with it. Obvs, that will be different for each person, but you just have to find whatever you can to keep you on track and meet your goal, b/c when you set that goal it was obvs very important to you. Don't get sidetracked now!
Something I find very helpful is either trying on clothes you own that are too small and seeing how they start to fit you better and better or buying new clothing that are slightly snug and using that as a reminder to yourself that you don't want that purchase to go to waste....
And I sort of agree with She-nerd I'd just rather be thin. It might be slightly messed up, but it just is....
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